Ballot issue in preparation for open and conceal carry on campuses

JUST MY BOOK, OFFICER.

Some South Dakota citizens are preparing a ballot issue that would permit students and others on college and university campuses to open or conceal carry books. Proponents say citizens have to arm themselves against stupid, which has launched relentless attacks on the state legislature. 

In response, legislators have hog-housed the education-funding bill and replaced the content with a requirement that any issue must require signatures of 110 percent of the voters to be placed on the ballot.  Sen. David Novstrup (R-Lower Colon), leader of the hog-housing, says having ordinary people dork around with education and stuff makes him nervous.  “Books contain all sorts of dangerous and unpatriotic ideas,” he said.  “We have to protect our young people from this menace.”

Critics have pointed out that a book-carry law is not needed because colleges were sort of created for consorting with books.  Proponents of the ballot issue say that being seen with a book on some South Dakota campuses is considered a social offense and results in harassment and abusive treatment.  Hog-house supporters say that the ballot issue is not needed because the market place of ideas regulates the use of books in South Dakota.  “We ain’t like some other states,” said Novstrup. “And there is nothing in the Constitution that gives the right to read.  We can’t have people running around violating the founding principles.”

Les Worthy, a leader for the ballot issue, stated that the unforgivable sin in South Dakota is the earning of a Ph.D., as it implies that the holder has read and maybe even understands a lot of books.  Most campuses employ many Ph.D.s and, Worthy explains, while libraries act as carefully regulated arsenals for keeping books, you can’t keep them under lock-and-key all the time and there is often a need to carry them about.  Those Ph.D.s need to look like they’re doing the jobs they were hired for now and then.

The ballot issue includes Kindles and Nookbooks in its carry provisions, although they seldom received much resistance on campuses because you can view pornography on them and use them to say mean and stupid things on the social media.  “How do you think legislators get informed?” said Novstrup in that regard.  “But we can’t afford to have those crucial resources in the hands of the unqualified.”