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Saturday, February 2, 2008

And what about our right to bear shovels?

Madville Times confronts the absurdity of a bill in the S.D. legislature to allow students to have and carry weapons on our college campuses. Cory points out the redundancy of the bill. For "redundancy" read "fence post dumb." On some days, students have enough trouble managing their pencils, and now firearms are being added to the academic mix.

I have a solution for the bill being proposed, HB 1261, that might save face, ass, and the sanity of the constituents in whose behalf the law is allegedly being offered. Amend the bill so that the world firearm is replaced with the word shovel. As in:

Section 1. No public institution of higher education may regulate or restrict the right to carry or possess a firearm [shovel] in accordance with state law. No public institution of higher education may expel, dismiss, or penalize any person who carries or possesses a firearm [shovel] in accordance with state law. However, any public institution of higher education may require that any firearm [shovel] in a campus dormitory of a public institution of higher education not in a person's immediate possession be stored in a locked gun [shovel] safe.

We need a Second Amendment to reaffirm our shovel rights in order to maintain a well-regulated militia. Here is the' story behind the idea:

MARYLAND HEIGHTS, Mo. (AP) — It looks like a couple of suburban St. Louis purse snatchers picked the wrong women to attack. The victims fought back — with a snow shovel.

Police in Maryland Heights released details of the Sunday incident outside a Schnucks grocery store. The women were unloading groceries when the thieves tried to steal two purses from their cart.

One of the women grabbed a shovel from the suspects' pickup and smacked one of the men upside the head. The other woman jumped into the cab and attacked the other suspect, then grabbed the keys so he couldn't drive away.

Police tracked the men to a hotel. The man struck with the shovel required staples to close the gash in his head.

Both are jailed and charged with robbery.


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Aberdeen, South Dakota, United States