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Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Maybe we should just have a national kill-a-bunch-of-people day

The U.S. Constitution is a monument to America's passionate love of hypocrisy.  It says in its Preamble that its purpose is to:

establish justice, insure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity...

Then it nullifies all that with its Second Amendment.  Our experts on Constitutional law have decreed that the Second Amendment is the sacred word that guarantees the right of any American to shoot the shit out of anyone and all if he/she feels like it.  The official interpretation of the Second Amendment is fuck justice, fuck domestic tranquillity, fuck the common defense, and fuck, fuck, fuck all that general welfare because it sounds socialist, and fuck other people's liberty.  The Constitutional experts saw that the Founding Fuckers made a huge mistake in the Preamble and put a potential obstacle in the way of people exercising the divine right to kill other people.

If we didn't have  occasions during which people blow away other people,  think how dull life would be.  Well, thanks to the celebrants of our divine right to kill,  out of the last 477 days we had 521 mass shootings to keep the true meaning of America alive.  The shooting over the weekend at Mandalay Bay is said to be the most  successful of all with 59 kills and 520 maims, if you don't include slaughters of black people and Indians, such as at Wounded Knee.  That record won't stand long, because this is America.

The national pride fills our hearts when we get to see a picture of some woman in cowboy boots trying to push some old dude wearing a cowboy hat in a wheel chair out of the line of fire.

Or a couple of chicks lying either dead or scared shitless with a beautiful pattern of blood splatter on the legs of one wearing cut-offs.  Makes one rise up in patriotic pride.  

We can't help but reminisce about some of our finer moments.  Although it had only half the kill-count, we fondly think of Sandy Hook.  What is more American than blasting away a a bunch of public school kids and school teachers?  What a demonstration of our basic values!  We thrill at a line of cowering kids and their teachers trying to lead them to safety, which a good, old AR-15 can blast away with the flick of a trigger finger.

There are some liberal types who threaten our true freedom with the thought that the Preamble to the Constitution means something.  What we need is a day to show that the Second Amendment is the only constitution we need.  Let Congress make the first Tuesday of November  a national holiday when we can have the time off to honor and worship our freedom to see how many people we can terrorize, and see how much we can set new kill-count records every year.  That ought to melt those libby snowflake asses and show them what American values really are.


Silas said...

You profane, old SOB. I'll never be able to use the words Founding Fathers without stuttering.

Roger Cornelius said...

Which is more profane, Silas? David's language or 59 innocent Americans murder?

Silas said...

I was being sardonic with Dr. Newquist. He and I are old colleagues who served as drill instructors in our distant pasts, when our verbal ability was judged by who could curse the longest without stopping or repeating himself. His term for our founders struck me as unusually funny.

Roger Cornelius said...

My apologies Silas

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Aberdeen, South Dakota, United States